Art and Depression
Art for freedom
a handshake with your inner darkness
Preamble:
Art is a gift. Depression not. Depression is an illness. And it can be cured in most cases. This is no site with information on depression or how to cure the results and symptoms. It is a loose presentation of artworks and lines of poetry which may inspire you to create, survive or best to enjoy the present moment – which mostly isn’t possible while or because suffering from several forms of depression is having. Please do not hesitate to find support from people who can give a proper support when you have thoughts which you do not know or that you recognize are not leaving you in a state you like to be in. Life is a journey and we can support each other during it.
art and depression
This article is a journey as well – it may inspire you to find your answers, your questions and a powerful relation to yourself and everything you encounter.
Can Art break the dark, or is there a deep dark without art and a safety net?
you may yell and hurt this pain on canvas
you may give up without inspiration and live in this boring beast of greyness.
Aggressions – you may not even be aware of – turning against yourself.
scribbled, smashed, torn out of unknown depths of suffering into brutal empty papers and canvas.
Just words. Just space. Just worthless prayers for hope, prayers for trust, prayers for friends
let them drop deep into the earth. deeper than any ocean.
Lost
some are lost
they tried
and it doesn’t work
no move
no joy
no sleep
no doubt
hard to continue
step by step
in the past nothing worked out
now sometimes grey did it
but it never is now
it mostly is past or futur
rarely now
is that possible?
laugh with the grey monsters
Share the moment and walk with them
walk together
feed them
talk with them about the unexpected
be with yourself and be without yourself
recenter
recover
heal and
hide or show it
at the same time
save yourself
give them colours, love, touch, attention and throw sticks
they have to get them
and leave you for a while
in a secure distance
safe
.
Knowing
knowing that there are days when
nothing will reach you
nothing is there to do
nothing is filled with joy
.
impermanence
&
patience
the remedies may come – before the next life
loss
a good friend told me – you know what depression is?
It is aggression against oneself.
you just forget or could not act out the anger
and it turned against you.
..
this process sometimes needs courage
this process sometimes needs power
this process sometimes doesn’t flow
this process sometimes is the source
the wrong art of thinking
the bad kind of thoughts
the lost kind of kindness
the head full of walls
so many stories
covered by cold silence
it started before my daughter died
but after that
all changed
and slowly
some part of me died
with her
without her
until I love
life as it is
with her
without her
with me
without mi
alive from the future to the past
into this moment
no no
snow show
off phases offline off spirit
hide any emotion
cover it deep
blackness on paper
no no
beneath boredom
this creepy neediness
so much too much
so much missing
need time
need trust
need energy
need to be needed
deeded needed
needle needle
nie nie nie
neverending neediness
nobody needs
dropped deep
did it did it did it
dropped deeper
no do no do no do
lost
long after loss
loss after longing
fight fight fight
loss loss loss
exhausted lost wracked
looser
worth nothing
no nothing
no no
Silk
nothing to hide
no structure
no borders
so
hide it, structure it, border it
beauty
from adoring to ignoring
a dance
but no real chance
too many wrong partners
too many wounds not healed
insecure anger
distance
be closed
far away
inside of her
is a grave
of ripped contacts
and drama memories
they called silk
another name for the truth
too good for this world
or too hurt for the normal
we killed the silence
we killed our love
we did and we couldn’t do better
when do we grow?
where do we come back?
an enemy like this
is a waste of time
meant to forgive
never ever
or and in the end
just now
Without Prayers
with or without
cause and effect
with or without
anger and despair
with or without
sadness and madness
as youth is lost
when monster rises
something hides
and unpleasant feels the tea time of life
with or without
deep loving parts,
with or without
touching the heart
too late to escape
nothing to improve
with or without
meaning
everything changes
it is expected
to do so
and when it changes
you are not sure
to recognize
new
old
returning cycles of suffering
with or without
shouting
I am still there
with or without
Breathing
I am gone
with or without
heartbeat
I stop beating
soften up my
courage to fell
into whatever is
.
.
poetry with prayers
forget
let loose
hold tight
and love
whatever is
or hate
whatever is
you are the difference
when you accept
what is
now
.
fake
fake easy
fake joy
fake life
fake love
fake fuck
fake fake
fake real
real fake
fake off
fake on
.
cause if you fake it here
you can fake it everywhere
“be the answer to your questions.
Be the laughter between your ears”
fake it
cloud prayer
.
cloudy fog
cool grey will touch my dry eyes,
mind, heart
forgotten
fading colour
will get you
sleep
wait
doubt
and fall
stay away
come far
be
all the darkness
here and there
exactly now
less hope
accept the inability to accept
no start
no choice
no time
make a wish
a tiny small wish
whisper it to the grey fish
and do not search for the ears of understanding
don’t wait for the pencil of smile
you forget your pin
to the laughing youth
being without fear and anger
your joy account is lost
be the pin
and pin it
between your lips
for 1 minute
but
do
not
sm i le
please
do
not
sm i le
be
the answer
on unasked questions.
Be
the laughter
between other people’s ears
b.nonhoff, prayer for a depressive cloud which died yesterday
smiling shouldn’t hurt
smiling shouldn’t hurt
may we smile more often
keep our pen in the air
we asked that question
yes the answer
a wonder
sometimes it is yellow
a call for love
now
cry
dance
sleep
everything is change
do not force
do not try
do not do
take the joy
by the holy smile train
b.nonhoff, countless prayers for countless beings
open heart
if
if you are inspired
be it
if you are uninspired
be it
and if not
be that
b.nonhoff, be
sometimes it is
It was never meant to be
hard, fixed, boring, sad
and sometimes it is
NOT
it was ever meant to be
wide, free, easy, joyful
but sometimes it is
JOY
sometimes I remember my inner melody
sometimes I connect to my universe of creativity
sometimes I am in a dark, ugly, goopy mood
and out of there, I get my source
that may is true – but not real
dedicated to inspire
remember
make some steps and breaths
towards ourself
dance
inspire
silence
the need to need
it is silent
it may work
it may give
it may takes
awake awake away
free heart and mind
just as it is
as you are
it is
difference
between all the yous and mess
dance
possi-billing the joy of our lives
letting touch our inner wisdom
sharing the lights
peaceful
life
before death
Kind hug
wise laughter
silent smile
.
.
handshake with your inner darkness